I’m going to cut to the chase on this one: While I would never advocate marrying someone just because of his/her money, I absolutely believe in the idea of marrying someone who knows what fiscal responsibility is and who is able to communicate clearly about his/her financial situation. Someone who understands that money is a tool to live the life you’ve always dreamed of rather than a means for instant gratification or a crutch to limp along on.

Essentially, I’m an advocate of marrying for money management by choosing a life partner who has the same ideals and values as you do when it comes to money. I’m a firm believer that those who enter any sort of long-term commitment with a blind eye towards the finances are setting themselves up for a greater likelihood of future stress, arguments, and the eventual demise of the relationship (after all, money problems are the number one reason most couples end up splitting).

Of course, for a hopeless romantic such as myself, love must absolutely go hand-in-hand with your financially savvy beau. For the purpose of argument, this is not an either-or type of scenario–I do believe it’s possible to find both love and sound financial management when it comes to deciding who to marry.

A History of Societal Norms that Celebrate Gold Diggers

In the past, it was common practice for a man to be the sole breadwinner of the family. He worked while she stayed at home to cook, clean, and raise the children. As antiquated as these societal norms might seem in our booming, she-can-do-anything 21st century world now, the notion of the man as the earner is rooted in centuries of history spanning thousands of cultures.

Up until a few decades ago, marriage was more of a financial transaction than a love-ridden quest for the sweet life. When two people created their union, it was built upon a foundation of producing and supporting a family. If love was anywhere in the equation, it was a fleeting bonus.

While this certainly sounds depressing, a quick trip through even the past 40 years or so leads you right back to an era where primping and dressing was simply a way to attract the most desirable mates who brought along their hefty checkbooks. As unfair and sexist as it seems, the most attractive women often “landed” the most eligible, wealthy men. One could go as far as to reason that beauty became nothing more than a tool to attract money.

The Current Portrayal of a Gold Digger

If you’re a fan of reality shows, you might have noticed an undercurrent where women are painted as money-hungry, clueless vultures who line up in hordes to snag the latest and greatest (read: financially stable and handsome) bachelor.Where do these TV-produced relationships end up? Typically, they are a on a one-way ride to Splitsville and along the way, they have some ugly, paparazzi-filled arguments and blow outs to eek out any last chance at fame and fortune along the way.

If there’s anything we can learn from these shows, it’s that a manufactured relationship, no matter the money, glitz, and glamor associated with it, won’t usually stand the test of time because it lacks the fundamental human needs of intimacy, love, and trust.

The next time you see that Stepford Wife or Real Houswife-esque neighbor of yours, take a closer look to determine whether or not true happiness exists for that person. Chances are, under the Mercedes SUV, skim latte, and Lululemon-clad exterior exists a woman who doesn’t know when her husband will be home next, who can’t remember the last time she had a date night with him, and who is desperate for a real, meaningful expression of love.

Marrying for Money–The Correct Way

On the surface, marrying for money sounds (and is) terrible. But what about marrying someone who’s good with their money and who can communicate his/her ideas, desires, and preferences? Why is it that when love comes a knockin,’ people are so much more likely to overlook financial red flags? Why can’t we have our cake and eat it too when it comes to falling in love and still being able to manage our finances successfully?

It’s absolutely possible to do this, but you have to be aware from the beginning. Along with those initial butterflies of a romantic date gone so well, make note of any red flags when it comes to that person’s money situation. As your courtship continues, your communication should evolve. Does that person spend more than they earn? Are their bills paid? Do they invest in their future? Are they able to share a long-term plan with you? Is there an emergency fund in the picture?

If you’re not able to figure these things out or are responding “No” more than “Yes,” consider what your future might be like if that person isn’t able to make lasting changes before both of you commit to a life together. As much as you might love that person, are you prepared to spend your life managing one financial disaster after the next?

Don’t be blinded by love–bring your head out of the clouds long enough to make a rational analysis of your potential future with this person. If things aren’t perfect now, no worries. But if that person isn’t willing to make the necessary financial changes now, don’t bank on them being able to do it in the future (pun intended!). Unfortunately, when it comes to marriage and money, love doesn’t always conquer all.

What are your thoughts on marrying for money?

Life certainly has a way of working itself out lately–as does my budget. Just as I recently posted about why I’ll never regret a dime I spend on vacations, I go ahead and spend a ridonculous amount of money to extend my most recent trip to Kauai, nearly pushing myself into the “Piss, what have I done” vein of disbelief.

But even after filling in all of the (very ugly) numbers in my spreadsheet, I have to admit that I sit here typing this post with a huge shit grin on my face after returning from a pretty epic island-hopping adventure.

Vegas or Bust–$1K in Flight Changes

Originally, I was supposed to be flying to meet my BF in Kauai after he’d been in Vegas for a conference. After working my tail off to find a pretty amazing combination of deals that scored me a cheap R/T flight from Boston, I realized that the dates conflicted with some project and work responsibilities–after I had already booked the non-refundable flight combo on Expedia.

A quick snap of the Vegas Strip

Cost to fix my oversight? A cool $1K in flight changes.

At the end of the day, I realized that the work I had to do was worth far more than the initial bite of the flight extravaganza, so I finagled a series of flights that would allow me to be in Boston a few days longer and also visit my BF in Vegas thanks to a 3.5 hour layover. After running through the airport Home Alone-style and grabbing a cab, I met him and his colleague for a quick round of drinks atop the Cosmopolitan hotel, which was a nice way to kick off the vacation.

Kauai Turns into Maui which Turns into Oahu

For the next round of could-have-been-completely-avoided-had-I-planned-better expenses, the adventure began in Kauai, where I originally had planned to spend a three-day long weekend. When I got there, I fell in love with the island, and I was relishing the time with my BF as we hadn’t seen each other much lately due to his crazy work travel schedule. After a few days on island time, I decided to continue the adventure rather than head home (he originally had planned to continue on to Maui to meet up with a friend while I would come back to Boston).

Cost to extend my vacation to include Maui and Oahu? Another ~$600 (I was able to use some of the credit I had from cancelling my initial flight to Kauai which saved me from dropping another $700 or so). But as you can see from my pictures here, it can be hard to leave paradise when you’re there and know you have an option to stay longer:

Walking along the private beach where we stayed in Kauai

Caves we found while exploring Kauai

View from our sunset catamaran tour in Kauai

View from Kauai Helicopter Tour of Na Pali Coast

View from Kauai Helicopter Tour of Na Pali Coast

Sunrise view from our balcony at the Maui Marriott Ocean Club

Waterfall on Road to Hana in Maui

If Headed to California, Why Not Stop in Napa?!

On the way home, we also decided to stay an extra day in San Francisco, which necessitated a trip to Napa again for some wine tasting.

Duckhorn Vineyards Napa CA

In total, I spent just about $3K on this trip. While that’s a nauseating sum considering at least $1,500 or more could have been avoided had I done a better job planning, I’m still in the camp of not regretting the decision to stay longer. Flight delays and extra expenses be damned; we had a hell of a good time!

That being said, I have my work cut out for me to save up and find creative ways to cut expenses for our upcoming trips to Quebec and Portugal….

What are your upcoming travel plans?

The other day, I was trolling reading through the FinCon13 Facebook page, and I saw a post from Stephanie at The Empowered Dollar where she was asking people to share the most embarrassing things they’ve done to save money for her upcoming Confessions of a PF Blogger post.

This first made me think of my own Confessions of a PF Blogger series I started over two years ago to chronicle my financial past. Then I began to think of all of the wonky things I’ve done over the years to save a few bucks. From the cringe-worthy to the surprisingly common, here’s where my bad behaviors fall on the shame scale when it comes to saving money/pinching my pennies:

Loading up on Freebies

A lot of people responding to the FinCon FB thread mentioned loading up on free food samples while grocery shopping in lieu of paying for a meal (so have been there, done that). Some also mentioned swiping extra condiments and disposable silverware/napkins from fast-food places (yep, totally have done that before!), while others mentioned taking full advantage of buffets to line their purses or backpacks with snacks for later (what, I can’t take 5 bananas with me?!).

While I’ve done most of these, I think my mecca of free comes in part from the various sporting events I participate in. Race expos can be a gold mine of great stuff for free if you’re savvy and not shy. I’ve flat out asked for free, full-sized samples and products–and I’ve usually been rewarded for my boldness! The most shameful haul I ever pulled in? 5 pairs of brand-new Asics athletic socks that retailed for $13/each.

I was at a race and afterwards a woman put out a few cases of merchandise for the runners who were left to take home with them. I politely took my one pair but as I was turning to walk away, she grabbed my bag and stuffed in a few more pairs, saying, “Go ahead honey, take more!” I sheepishly accepted (feeling a bit odd yet elated because I really needed new socks), and I scurried my way back to the parking lot.

Estimated savings on socks, goo, drink mixes, energy bars, and even apparel: $1,000 and counting.

Milk the Student Discount

It’s no secret that I love to learn and that I’ve been pretty savvy with finding creative ways to finance my education. What’s been a bit of a secret is that I was flashing my student ID card for discounts years after graduating. I’ll admit that it’s still quite tempting to do even today, but I resist that urge because I don’t want to abuse the very programs that allowed me to have a social life when I had no money. That being said, I did get into some museums in Europe for free within the past 3 years thanks to my grad school ID. Oops!

Estimated savings on museums, concerts, travel, meals out, and other fab student-only freebies: $600+

Postpone Gift-Giving Plans

Now we’re starting to enter the real realm of shameful. Back when I was in debt up to my eyeballs, I spent two years delaying my Christmas gift giving until after the holiday had passed. Why? Because I couldn’t afford much of anything that I was used to giving people, so I waited for the after-Christmas sales, I combined the sale items with any gift cards I had received, and I bought everyone’s presents on the cheap.

Looking back, I could have just made things or given my time or even cooked/baked/cleaned for my family members. I now realize that it doesn’t matter what you give as long as you’re doing it with good, loving intentions. I no longer tie my own self worth to the extravagant gifts I can shower people with–I’d much rather just have a conversation or spend some much-need Quality Time with them!

Estimated savings after two Christmas seasons of belated gift-giving: At least $500.

Hitting the Gym for Free

In the past, I was a master of utilizing the “try before you buy” incentives at local gyms, yoga studios, and bootcamps. I was a serial gym goer…but only if it was free to me. I’d happily give out my name and spam email address, and I eagerly listened to the salesperson’s script for however long it took me to get that week-long (or even month-long) pass. Granted, this was years ago and today I don’t even go to the gym because I prefer to run/workout outside, but I shudder to think of how many places I’ve skipped out on when it came time to enroll in a paying membership.

Estimated savings through 3 years of gym hopping for free passes: $800+

Returning Clothes After I’ve Worn Them

OK, I did this once. But in my current book of financial security, once is too much. Now we are knee-deep in the arena of shame. Back when I was interviewing for grad schools and new jobs in Boston, I needed a new suit. With a pile of maxed out credit cards and only a few dollars to my name, there was no way I could buy a suit no matter how bad the need was–even if it came from a thrift store.

So what did I do? I marched into the local mall, picked out a gorgeous suit, pinned up all the tags, wore it for my interviews (all in one day thankfully), then returned it the next week. Graceful? Certainly not. Shameful? Absofreakinlutely.

Estimated savings on new suit: $350

Turning a New Page

Thankfully, I’ve come a long way since my days of ridiculous debt and living as a financially clueless wonder. I’m proud to say that I don’t do any of this stuff anymore, but I certainly wouldn’t judge someone who needs to because I understand firsthand how rough it can be to make changes in your financial world.

That being said, it’s a lot easier on your pride if you simply plan for expenses, save up for them in advance, or have an e-fund for those little surprises that can wreak havoc on your budget!

So let’s hear them: Spill the most shameful things you’ve done to save money!

Photo I took while diving in the Great Barrier Reef

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an insatiable desire to see the world. For me, seeing the world means traveling as much as possible and truly immersing myself in the local cultures and customs of the places I visit. This desire to travel the globe has turned into a reality where I’m usually either taking a trip, planning a trip, or just returning from a trip.

While this is certainly not a bad way to live, it can be an expensive one if you’re not careful with your travel expenditures. This is why I’m always on the lookout for the next big travel deal, why I get creative when it comes to paying for vacations, and why I’m constantly working to bring in more money in order to cover the costs of my various adventures.

After traipsing the globe and being fortunate enough to have set foot on five of the seven continents so far (Africa and Antarctica are in the works–especially after missing out on the Kilimanjaro trip last year due to a stupid stress fracture), I can say one thing: I don’t regret a single dime I’ve spent on my various vacations.

When I Buy a Vacation, I’m Paying for an Experience

Despite being a PF blogger and fully understanding how saving now is one of the only ways to guarantee a better financial future tomorrow, I still continue to spend around $10K or more each year on traveling. This is because I’m not out spending frivolously on clothes, bags, and shoes–I’m paying for an experience; one that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

If you ask me about the clothes I bought back when I was in my former spendaholic days, I couldn’t remember a single detail about any of them.

But if you ask me about the trips I took to Chile, Japan, Italy, Hawaii, and Australia during the same time period, I can pretty much regale each adventure in detail–from randomly going scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef instead of the snorkel trip I’d signed up for (I’d never even held a regulator in my mouth before, let alone actually went diving) to watching a car fly off the switchback of a mountain pass in Chile after getting a bit too overzealous about finally being able to drive down (the lanes are so narrow that they’ll stop traffic at the top where the ski resorts are and only open it after a certain time–let’s just say that it’s pure chaos when they finally set the cars free!).

In each case, I spent money to get to those places, and I spent more once there. Even if I broke the budget a bit, I’ve never once returned home to think, “Wow, I shouldn’t have spent so much” because I’m usually thinking, “Damn, that was a hell of an adventure!” I’ve of course gotten better with my budgeting system so now my trips don’t get in the way of other goals such as long-term and retirement savings, but I still don’t regret spending any of that money.

Money is a Tool for You to Live the Life You Dream of

My dreams have always included traveling, working for myself, and having a happy, loving family. I’m well on my way with the first two, and I know that my understanding that money is a tool has a lot to do with why I’ve been able to achieve these dreams. I no longer look at money as a means for instant gratification, a green light to spend myself into oblivion, or something that can be used/abused without consequence

If I had continued to abuse money, there’s no way I’d be able to travel so much. If I had continued to be intimidated and clueless about money, I would never have been able to quit my full-time job to become my own boss. Once I truly understood that I’m in control of my financial destiny, I began to use money as a tool that allows me to shape my life into the one I’ve always dreamed of living.

Considering that you can’t take a penny with you once you’ve passed away and that when you’re in your last hours the last thing you’re going to want to talk about with your family is your budget, I can’t imagine ever regretting the choice to fill my life with experiences and stories from my travels–even if it did cost me money to do so. I hope one day to instill this same love of adventure and realization about money in my future children so they, too, can live their own lives in the manner they dream of.

What are your thoughts on spending money on vacations? Yay or nay and why?

As some of you might have noticed, I didn’t post my monthly goals at the beginning of April. As it turns out, this was OK because of the crazy twists & turns the month took as it went on. Even if I had set goals, most of them would have been augmented, abandoned or blown out of the water. How’s that for variability??

Speaking of variability, April was the proof I expected to find (at some point) about how insanely variable freelancing can be. Inconsistent is the word that I’ll use to describe my income over the past two months–and I know this is just the beginning of the freelancer roller coaster ride. Luckily, I had anticipated this so when I ended up bringing in over $10K in March, I knew that I shouldn’t rest on those laurels too much before diving right back into my work.

Another blow to the April income statement came in the form of the Boston Marathon bombings. I don’t want to share anymore space here talking about such a negative event, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t impact me in some way. I spent that week sort of floating around in a haze, glued more to the TV and newspapers than to my laptop. This certainly had an effect on how much I brought in for the month but I’m hopeful that I can pick things up in May.

On the positive side, I had another round of exciting media mentions in April which included my work being quoted on Wise Bread, an article being picked up on Lifehacker and my very first TV appearance on the Dr. Oz Show! The TV stuff was definitely unnerving and I’m not sure I’d ever be cut out for it unless I could spend plenty of time desensitizing myself from the panic of cameras, lights and audiences in my face. That being said, it’s pretty cool to see myself and my Twitter handle up on national TV! Sadly, there was no mention of this site due to legal reasons but it was such a fun experience that I’m not really sure I care. Stay tuned for whatever screen shots I can manage to pull from the footage after it airs.

All in all, I ended up being just under $3K short of the total income I made in March. While $7,200+ is nothing to sneeze at, I still see plenty of room for improvement. I have my eyes on the $8K mark for May so hopefully a bit of extra hustle gets me over that threshold (and higher!).

Here’s how I fared overall with the various items I wanted to cross off my financial to-do list:

How was your April?

If the price of a movie ticket or the cost of a good dinner out have you spinning your wheels to fit entertainment into your budget, take comfort in knowing there are ways to trim your entertainment-related costs.

As someone who appreciates being busy and trying new things, I’m always on the hunt to save money. Here are some of the easiest ways I reduce my costs but still have fun:

Hosting a Movie or Game Night

I love to watch movies, but I rarely get to the theater or buy things on demand because of the ridiculous prices. Instead, I will gather friends and either show movies I own, something from Netflix or whatever movies my friends bring over with them. We make popcorn, crack open some beers or bottles of wine and relax in the comfort of our own homes.

This idea also works well for game nights and dinner parties–why foot the bill for expensive food when you’ll most likely have more fun at home anyway?

Free Events in the City

Boston is a mecca of free, great things to do almost year round. Of course the best season for these types of things is summer, but there is usually always something going on for free that I’d like to check out. Some of the fun things I’ve attended in the past have been free concerts at the Hatch Memorial Shell, Shakespeare in the Park, EarthFest (sponsored by Whole Foods and filled with awesome, free samples!) and various community productions and free movie nights.

Getting Physical

While they aren’t free, road races are a great way to stay in shape, socialize and even give to charity (a lot of proceeds from local races are donated to various charities). In addition to running, I’ve also taken advantage of free nights at local rock climbing gyms/facilities, discounted fitness classes, free bootcamps and even free sailing demos. In my opinion, it’s always a win-win to be active, social and saving money all at the same time!

Take Advantage of Free Nights

At the ICA in Boston, you can attend the exhibits for free on Thursday evenings. I’ve also flashed my bank cards to gain free admission to the MFA, BSO and other spots around town where the normal ticket price is a bit too high for my liking. Search through your loyalty programs, check for free night/day listings and think outside the box–these tips apply to much more than museums, too!

If you can’t attend on the designated free day, check out other options for discounts such as a student card, AAA membership, etc.

How do you save on your entertainment expenses?

Giveaway Time!

If you’re opting to host a movie night, you might appreciate a brand-new TV to view those films on. Enter below for your chance to win a Samsung UN50EH6000 50-Inch 1080p 120Hz LED HDTV worth over $700! This contest has been  brought to you by QuoteMeAPrice.com, a website I’d be sure to visit if I was looking to sell my structured settlement. It runs until the end of May 2013 and is open to everyone.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

It’s been a month since my trip to Abu Dhabi and Dubai and I’ve finally pulled the photos off of my camera.     Here’s a bit of my photo scrapbook from my adventures…stay tuned for a post about discount travel tips for the UAE!

Burj Al Arab in Dubai

The Beaches of Abu Dhabi

Burj Khalifa Dubai at Night

Dubai Dinner Cruise

Fountain Show at Burj Khalifa

View from Top of Burj Khalifa

On a camel in Abu Dhabi

Sharjah Museum

Sheikh Zayed Mosque Abu Dhabi

Sheikh Zayed Mosque Abu Dhabi

Inside of Sheikh Zayed Mosque

Spice Souks of Dubai

Recently, I had the pleasure of spending some serious girl time with a friend of mine. The day was filled with lots of adventure, good food and…shopping. While were in the mall, my friend wanted to head to Sephora. I have only ever headed straight to the skincare section of the store, but I tagged along this time as my friend was perusing the lipstick options. As someone who is naturally drawn to most anything that sparkles, I randomly picked up a shimmery eye shadow. As I turned it over to see the price, I was floored.

$16 for eyeshadow?! How on Earth is this an acceptable price??

The Cost of Looking Good

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post where I speculated about whether or not looking good costs money. In it, I talked about the ways I save money on maintaining my appearance and how I value a more natural look that inherently costs me less overall. The comments from my post were excellent and enlightening–it was interesting to see each person’s opinions about their personal grooming/appearance maintenance spending.

Among the top things mentioned were haircuts and makeup–both of which can be extremely pricey. As I thought more about the concept of spending money to look good, I began to wonder how these expenses can be pared down. When it comes to your makeup routine, there are plenty of ways to fit your wants and needs into a balanced budget.

Invest Wisely

If you’re going to buy and wear makeup as most of us ladies do, make sure you’re spending your money wisely. This means learning when you can skirt by with a less expensive option–and when you need to splurge a bit. A general rule of thumb is to invest in items you’ll have for a while such as makeup brushes as well as those that are applied directly to your clean skin (foundation, primer, sunscreen).

As for those items you can definitely spend a lot less on, this category should be reserved for items that have a short shelf life such as mascaras and lipstick and those that are fad-driven such as eyeshadow and liners.

Try Before You Buy

The cosmetics world is filled with freebies, samples and promotions. You just have to find them or ask for them. Brush up on your negotiation skills or work on being less timid by approaching the person working at the cosmetics counter and asking for a sample or two of any product you’re thinking of buying.

I’ve personally done this with almost all of my skincare items, and I’ve found that sometimes the sample sizes vary. If you’re very polite or have an existing rapport, the person is usually happy to slip you the larger sized item free of charge!

Stretch it to the Limit

Prolong the life of your products by taking care of them. Whether it’s washing your brushes regularly or storing your foundation and nail polish in the fridge to help them maintain their consistency, there are plenty of ways to stretch your beauty dollar further.

When you’re nearing the end of a product, get creative about making it last even longer: Move loose/broken eye shadows into individual containers (old film containers or pill boxes are perfect options), melt the last of your lipstick down and put it in a pill box (you can also add a bit of Vaseline during the melting process to create a custom gloss), and use a damp Q-tip to get every last bit of product out of the original packaging.

Use it Before You Lose it

Pay attention to expiration dates and always check your stockpile before adding something new. If it’s time to buy something new, ensure you’ve already checked all of your purses, suitcases and travel bags for any duplicates you might have on hand. When you do decide to make your purchase, remember to take advantage of any frequent buyer programs, coupons or promotions the store might be offering.

How do you save money on makeup expenses?

First of all, thank you so much for the supportive comments, tweets and emails during last week. While things have calmed down quite a bit after the bombings, shootings, car jackings and neighborhood hunts of last week, there’s still a lot of healing that needs to be done in both the Boston and running communities. Your kind words, thoughts and prayers have been well-received–it’s truly the spirit of resilience and camaraderie that has pushed all of us through such a horrific time.

Out of respect for what was happening and in part because I was struggling with a writer’s block the size of Texas, I chose to forgo my typical publishing schedule last week. However, today marks the beginning of a new week and there’s no time like the present to get back to business.

In light of the things happening here in Boston, I wanted to focus today’s post on what to do with your finances when you’re faced with processing a tragedy. If there’s anything I learned during this time of pain in my city, it’s that challenge and tragedy can strike in an instant, without warning.

If you should find yourself dealing with your own tragedy–no matter if it is illness, accident, the death of a loved one or a terrorist attack or natural disaster in your own neighborhood–there are ways to keep moving forward in a financially sound way.

Keeping Your Financial House in Order When Your Emotions Take Precedent

When all hell is breaking loose in your personal life and/or around you, it can be really hard to maintain your financial resolve. Rather than shirking all semblance of financial responsibility and creating an epic mess for when you do move on beyond this storm, consider the following tips for keeping your emotions–and your bank balance–in check:

Turn Off the News

At some point last week, I literally pulled the plug on my TV. I also slammed my laptop closed and shut off my phone. Why such a dramatic fanfare? Basically, the more I watched played out before me in the media, the more my emotions threatened to take control of me (rather than me controlling them). With each new gruesome photo of carnage or depressing post of a friend on Facebook, I grew more and more attached to the drama that was unfolding all around me. By shutting off my connection to the media, even temporarily, I was able to gain some much-needed time to clear my mind and regain my focus.

Give Yourself a Break

If a tragedy strikes, know that it’s OK for your normal routine to go out the window. In fact, I’m willing to bet that it will be nearly impossible to continue on as you usually do when faced with such a challenge. Rather than fighting what’s happening and how you’re feeling about it, allow yourself to slow down and focus on what’s most important.

Put Your Budget Aside

Yes, you read that correctly. While I’m not advocating a green light to spend yourself into oblivion, it might be necessary to take a small hiatus from the number crunching and just enjoy the time you can spend with your loved ones. Connecting with those who you are near and dear with will do so much more for you than balancing your budget!

Automate It

During any crisis, there comes a time when you must focus on the logistics and details of everyday life. Take advantage of this time to automate any bills or savings transfers. Essentially, you should set it and forget it temporarily so you’re free to attend to your emotions, your loved ones and your well-being.

Reach Out

If you’re going through a difficult time, no matter what it is, now is not the time to isolate yourself. Reach out to your friends, your family and your neighbors. Find those that you connect best with and spend time with them. Talk about what’s going on, what’s bothering you and your future plans for fun. Grieve together rather than alone and your time for healing will be much less than if you push yourself to go it alone.

Confirm and Protect

In the case of a tragedy where insurance could be necessary, make sure to check your coverage and have an open dialogue with any agents who can help you streamline a claims process. Also, protect yourself by shredding any unnecessary documents that contain personal information and take care to properly store those you may still need. Unfortunately, during times of crisis, there is a larger chance of thieves prying on the victims of the tragedy. You can also protect yourself and your identity by fully vetting any opportunities that come your way.

What are some financial management tips you’d offer to those currently dealing with a tragedy?

Silence.

Typically, this is not what you hear on the day of the Boston Marathon, nor in the days that follow its completion. But in the wake of unspeakable tragedy, this is all that I heard today in my great city. As I walked onto the subway platform at Downtown Crossing this morning, I was struck by the eerie silence I was greeted with.

On any normal day during the rush hour commute, the tracks are abuzz with people shuffling off to work. It’s not uncommon to hear people on their cell phones, loud music blasting from headphones or even people complaining about the crowded cars and lack of seats.

Today, I heard nothing.

As I walked through the crowds of solemn, silent people towards the steps to go upstairs, I caught a glimpse of magnificent sunlight. For a brief moment, I thought that perhaps I was still in the middle of a nightmarish dream and the sunlight was my cue to wake up. Then I saw four armed guards standing patrol at the entrance of the station and everything came crashing back to reality.

Yesterday began as any of the past Marathon Mondays Boston has seen: Runners were preparing to conquer 26.2 of the most celebrated miles in the world of running, spectators were excitedly awaiting the arrivals of their friends and family along the course and race officials, police and medical staff were prepared to offer some minimal crowd support and a throng of Band Aids and Vaseline.

Sidelined from my previous marathon injuries and not able to compete myself, I settled for a long bike ride to the course and positioned myself in a prime viewing location on Beacon Street to await the 50+ people I knew running the race. I took countless pictures of elite runners and friends alike. For all of us out there, running or not, it was as I’ve always referred to the Boston Marathon–26.2 miles of smiles.

Little did I know that all of that would change in mere minutes.

Knowing that most of my friends were getting closer to the finish line and that even more friends were already stationed in the area, I began to head to the finish line to meet up with everyone. What happened next is something I won’t be able to shake for a while. As I was heading into the Boylston area, I had one last turn to make when I noticed a bunch of college students near the curb. One female was clearly having a rough day of partying and was physically sick. Knowing I had two extra bottles of water in my backpack, I stopped to give her one.

Then, for some strange reason that I cannot explain, I decided I’d had enough of the mayhem for one day and turned home instead of continuing to the finish line. When I arrived home, a flurry of calls, texts, emails and FB posts greeted me. Since I had been biking home, I had no clue that two massive explosions had just erupted at the finish line.

The same finish line I had been headed to.

It turns out that had I continued on my way to meet my friends, I would have been in the exact spot that the explosions went off. And pretty much at the exact time the bombs detonated. While I’m clearly fine and my heart literally aches for those who weren’t as fortunate, I’m still wondering what it was that made me turn around. Did some drunken BU student really save my limbs and/or life?

While I’ll never be able to answer that question, I can answer the question of what I plan to do in the wake of such tragic, unfounded hatred.

I’ve just registered for the Legs of Love Marathon (such an apt name) for June 9th in hopes of being able to squeak in one last BQ before the 2014 registration opens. While the time for training is short, my motivation to be part of next year’s Boston Marathon is unending. Throughout the remainder of this week, I’m participating in various runs and events to honor all those affected by yesterday’s incident. Today, I lace up in honor of those still fighting for their lives in hospital beds around the city.

If you look at some of the photos from yesterday’s heartache, don’t focus on the carnage, gore and sadness. Instead, focus on the spirit that lives in each and every one of the first responders, bystanders and neighbors that fled TOWARDS the unthinkable scene unfolding in front of them. Think of the people who put their own lives at risk all in the name of helping others.

The next time you find yourself thinking about Boston, the Boston Marathon or any other distance running event, know that as runners, we bond together and we always get back up. Sick, exhausted, injured or stressed, we always end up back on our feet with running shoes laced up and ready to go again.

And we don’t do this alone.

This post goes out to the innocent souls who were taken from us. It’s for the friends, family, government officials, medical personnel and volunteers who work their asses off every year to make this the spectacular event it’s always been who were thrown into the depths of despair as duty called in a way that nobody could have imagined. It also goes out to the many of my fellow runners who were stripped of their Boston Marathon finish line dream and all those who are hurting in various ways right now (a good friend of mine actually saw those dismembered people lying there in agony).

On Sunday, I ran the BAA 5K and I had the pleasure of completing yet another “Right on Hereford, Left on Bolyston.” Even though it was a 5K, crossing that finish line caused memories of my previous Boston Marathon completions to come flooding back. I can only wish that I’d been able to share the same euphoria with the thousands of runners who were stopped a mere half mile from the finish line.

To all of those impacted by this incident in any way, shape or form, my thoughts and prayers (and miles) go out to you. And to the senseless people who did this, we WILL run. You CAN’T hide.

Please send your thoughts & prayers to Boston!